Chapter 21: Most Humans are Other People
About mid-morning on the third day of fighting in the tunnels, Liam saw a pale light in the darkness. At first, he assumed it was another group of glowpedes. Yet there was something diffuse about the quality of the light that gave him hope. Three more battles and they were able to advance sufficiently that an arch came into view: a bright, white shape in the distance. No bigger than Liam’s hand, it nevertheless had to be the end of the tunnel. The lack of anything to measure the shape by made judging its size and distance difficult. Assuming it matched the entrance to the tunnel from the Hostelry of Eternal Darkness, it was about two hundred metres away.
‘That’s the end of the tunnel already?’ exclaimed Kate.
‘I think so,’ Liam answered.
‘Pog.’
The mobs here thinned out and there were just a few simple single pulls ahead.
‘Hey, Kate,’ feeling cheerful, Liam nudged her arm with his elbow. ‘What do you call a piece of cheese on the rebound?’
‘What?’
‘An easi-single.’
‘Oh, that’s terrible.’ Aengus was ahead of them but within earshot. All at once Liam’s happiness diminished. His brother had been infuriating all morning, refusing to unleash Flurry of Blows, saying he’d rather save his mana for Ki Shock Wave. It was obvious to Liam that any mana spent using the new skill would have been quickly replenished. Even if Aengus had used Flurry just the once, it would be fascinating to see what difference it made. Important too, to be able to properly judge which encounters they could manage with a tank strategy.
With an efficiency perfected in the course of winning dozens of similar battles, they destroyed the remaining spiders and beetles, collecting two more light green soul stones and finishing yet another spider quest. Then Liam was standing in a patch of sunlight, squinting towards a blue sky.
‘This is lovely,’ Kate had stepped forward into a courtyard that was similar to the one on the night side of the tunnel. But what a difference to see it by sunlight rather than lamplight. While the dark side had a certain ambience, suggestive of late-night parties and discreet meetings, here was joy and celebration. Whitewashed walls; sparkling windows; uncountable flowerpots and hanging baskets, vivid with red, purple and blue flowers. Even the four-wheeled coach standing unattended in the yard was sparkling, the wood panels of polished cedar decorated with swirling vines painted in gold.
A window opened, a white sheet fluttered, a face peered out at them. And then a shriek. ‘Monsters at the tunnel! They’ve come out of the tunnel!’
Hurrying forward, Aengus waved both arms above his head and shouted up at the figure. ‘We’re not monsters. Look. Purple robes. We’re adventurers and we’ve cleared the whole tunnel.’
The calm and pretty scene that had reminded Liam of a Swiss chalet on a postcard now dissolved into disorder and noise. The Hostelry of Eternal Light was just as large as its counterpart on the other side of the mountain and, accompanied by the slamming of doors and screech of opening windows, a large crowd quickly assembled. The impression Liam got was that mostly these were servants – demon and human – with a preponderance of green livery, some blues, and a fair smattering of purples. There were also two groups of more aristocratic-looking figures who might have been guests, wearing silk dresses or frock coats, standing at the back and looking over towards him.
Smiles, glittering eyes, waves, and then the throng parted to allow a tall, thin demon to approach. This was a mist demon, whose form, although humanoid, appeared to flow: long fingers with silver nails; floating grey hair; a sense that beneath his navy jacket his body was in constant motion; and, above all, a restless face whose only fixed feature were two oval, black eyes.
Exert yourself to reach your usual high standard of diplomatic skill with this one, for his appreciation of the value of your achievement for the hostelry is tempered by a jealous rage that you wear purple and have set out from the ‘wrong’ side of the mountain. This is the First Butler and his rival, the Second Butler, stands to gain. He cannot forgive you for this.
‘Am I to congratulate you on having re-opened the tunnel?’ The rippling mouth of the mist demon moved as he spoke, but not in a fashion that seemed to match his words. Around him, there were some cheers and shouts of ‘hurrah!’ when the First Butler said “re-open”.
Liam bowed, ‘I’m glad to say that we have cleared all the monsters.’
‘I don't think it’s ready for use just yet,’ said Kate. ‘We don’t have the quest complete alert from the initial quest. I’d say we probably have to find … six more spider egg sacks to prevent a reinfestation.’
‘There are some side passages we haven’t yet been down,’ added Aengus.
‘Nevertheless, this is a splendid achievement. We have been struggling to supply our guests with the full menus and services they have come to expect. The road around the mountain is precarious.’ The mist demon sounded gracious and Liam was quick to respond in kind.
‘Thank you; your praise means a great deal. We are here to serve both sides of the Hostelry to our utmost.’
Against a background of cheers and applause, Liam heard the First Butler repeat quietly, ‘both sides.’ Then his voice rose. ‘Please come in and refresh yourselves.’
‘Thank you; we’d be honoured.’
As he followed the mist demon into the hostelry, Liam was met with smiles and waves from all the servants and those in purple were particularly eager to catch his eye.
The First Butler took them to a private room that was large and had a huge rectangular window criss-crossed with lead. A reptilian servant in blue livery brought in a silver tray on which were small pastries and a jug of cordial with mint leaves floating on it. As they helped themselves to the snacks, the mist demon closed the door behind the departing servant and then took a tall seat behind a sturdy desk.
‘I’ll come to the point. Your application to work at the hostelry was accepted by the greedy, selfish, and back-stabbing Second Butler. Yet you just said you were here to serve both sides. Where do your loyalties lie?’
Both Kate and Aengus turned their faces to Liam.
What should I say?
This creature believes that everyone ought to be selfish, and that the pursuit of personal advancement, wealth, and power, is all that matters. For him, the indulgence of selfish desires is a virtue.
‘I’ll be frank,’ said Liam, leaning forward to stare into those black orbs. ‘I just want to level up and gather all the loot I can. I really don’t care who I serve, other than it should bring me the maximum possible reward.’
‘I see,’ the demon leaned back, strands of grey hair flowing upwards to coil around the two carved knockers that decorated the top of the chair. ‘So if you were summoned to meet the duchess, you would be willing to credit me with having hired you, rather than that oaf?’
‘I would. If the reward were sufficient.’
Quest Received
Your group has been asked to betray the Second Butler if the opportunity presents itself.
Reward 1,000 gold coins.
One thousand gold coins! That was over five thousand Euro.
It amuses me that mortals are so inclined, with thoughts of gold to fill their minds.
I’ve no intention of betraying the Second Butler. He was good to hire us and he is very appreciative of our work. I was just calculating how much this offer was worth.
I see.
You don’t believe me? Can’t you read my thoughts?
Does anyone truly know their own mind? Most humans are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions; their venal desires suppressed and made noble by fictions; their passions a quotation.
I’m just doing what you said, keeping this dangerous demon from becoming our enemy.
‘Thank you,’ Liam stood up. ‘We should be getting back to the tunnel and finishing the quest. Only when we have fully restored the passage might the owner of the Hostelry of Eternal Darkness and Light want to meet us.’
‘Good. The availability of that tunnel once more will increase our number of guests and that too is a most valuable achievement.’
Back in the tunnel, they each carried a lit lantern and Liam kept an eye on the walls until reaching the first opening. The tunnel itself was a road of well-fitting cobblestones under an arched roof that had a smooth stone finish, as though it had been fashioned with magic rather than pickaxes. In several places, however, deep cracks had appeared in the walls, some of which reached all the way down to the depths of the mountain. According to Wikipedia, the mobs in the mountain caverns were suitable for groups of adventurers in their 20s, but the page hadn’t been updated for months as this wasn’t a popular place to level; the hostelry was so far from a portal that death here would probably be permanent.
Exploring the first opening, they soon found more mobs, still glowpedes, chrono-beetles, and tunnel spiders. Also, a sack of spider eggs, bringing them to within five of the completion of that quest.
After looting a light green soul stone from the corpse of a tunnel spider, Aengus said, ‘There’s a big cavern ahead.’
‘Careful,’ said Liam.
‘I’m going in. Wait here.’
‘Don’t pull a train.’
Lantern swaying, his brother seemed to be almost sauntering as he walked down a rough-walled corridor that opened out to a cave whose far wall could not be seen and whose high roof sparkled with minerals or crystals.
‘Cave ghouls,’ shouted Aengus. ‘In a group of seven. I’ll pull one.’
‘Wait!’ In school Liam had done a project on the undead of the planes of wickedness and he remembered making notes on the cave ghoul. They were usually level 9, which was manageable, but their long nails could inflict disease as well as hit point damage. If his brother accidentally pulled three or more, they could be in big trouble.
Aengus had set down his lantern and walked into the shadows of the cave. Less than a minute later, he was running back with all seven ghouls behind him: snarling, pale humanoids with green eyes, showing their fangs. Disaster. They couldn’t win this fight; could they outrun the ghouls, get back to the sunshine?
Then Aengus fell to the ground and Liam screamed, ‘No!’ He ran forward to try to get aggro with Magic Missile before the monsters savaged his brother. There wasn’t even time for a Freeze.
STOP! Lord Azanth bellowed into Liam’s head. Watch.
I don’t understand. The mobs had all halted their charge. Then the ones at the back turned away and lurched off into the darkness. When the last of them was leaving, Aengus stood up again.
‘Incoming! One cave ghoul.’
What just happened?
Our monk has the extremely useful skill of Still Heart.
Still Heart? Not Flurry of Blows? Why didn’t he tell me?
I believe he wanted to see your face when his new skill was revealed. Why the thought of that unexpected shock should bring him such pleasure, I cannot say, other than to refer to the many classical examples of fraternal rivalry: Cain and Abel; Assurbanipal and Shamash-shuma-ukin; Romulus and Remus; Noel and Liam Gallagher.
I hate him. ‘You brat!’ Even as Liam slammed the cave ghoul with Magic Missile, alternating with Kate’s Freeze, he felt like going up to Aengus and giving him a slap around the head. No sooner had the cave ghoul gone down though, and Aengus was running back into the dark cave and bringing a crowd of undead after him. Again he fell; again Liam’s heart beat with panic at the sight of his brother lying on the ground in front of an unassailable crowd of mobs. And again, he watched with enormous relief as they halted, then turned again.
‘Incoming! One cave ghoul.’
By the time the last of the ghouls had been killed, Liam was mollified. It helped calm him down that the XP gain was the best he’d ever had, other than the exploit in the graveyard.
Grinning widely, Aengus strolled up to Liam and Kate. ‘What do you think of Still Heart then?’
‘You should have told me. I’ll have nightmares about a ghoul pack tearing you apart.’
A hint of a sheepish expression came over his brother’s face and Liam felt better for that. Well enough to admit to himself that Still Heart had probably been the right choice for their particular group.
As they entered the cave after the death of the last ghoul, Liam felt his sense of outrage die down even further. For there were three clusters of spider eggs hanging in the corners and on destroying them, he got three very welcome system messages.
🎉 ✨ Congratulations! ✨🎉
Spider Reinfestation Quest Complete
You have destroyed twenty sacks of tunnel spider eggs and have prevented a major reinfestation.
🎉 ✨ Congratulations! ✨🎉
Restore the Carriage Tunnel Quest Complete
You have eliminated the infestation of monsters that has spread from the depths of the mountain. You have restored the carriage tunnel that connects the Hostelry of Light to the Hostelry of Darkness.
🎉 ✨ Congratulations! ✨🎉
You have completed 20 quests
Your rank has changed from grey to light green. You have gained +1 Intelligence, +5 Magical Attack, and +5 Magical Defence.
Complete 30 quests to gain a dark green rank.
If Liam ever returned to his class at TCD, the others would be amazed at his progress, even with private grinds Tom McCardle and Winifred Fitzgerald would not have reached level 9 and light green rank.
Liam Nowak Level 9 Mage
Rank 1 Light Green Evolution 0
A former Junior Fresh student of Magecraft at Trinity College Dublin, this young human is searching for moral certainty in a world that he feels has betrayed his former faith in goodness.
HP 41
Mana 115
Health 21
Strength 7
Agility 8
Intelligence 17
Physical Attack 3
Magical Attack 37
Natural armour 0
Magical Defence 37
1 Attribute point.
Equipped Slots:
Left Hand: Hazel Wand of Syceus
Right fingers: Ring of Freedom of Movement
Exp 536,034 / 1,024,000
Soul Stones 2/100
Rank quests 0/30
Skills
Magic Missile level 2
Freeze level 2
Titles:
Puzzle Solver