Kudos

Adventures in the Metaverse 1

Preface

These are the tales of Eternal Voyager. They come to me from EV himself and I like to think these stories are largely true, but I have taken the liberty of amending them to adjust a certain self-congratulatory bias in the original versions.

It was around the middle of the sixth century AR (After Re-beginning) that we had the ‘kudos’ crisis and that is as good a place as any to start. For in the course of these events, Eternal Voyager passed through a defining test of character.

There are a lot of recordings and metacasts that can be used to illustrate exactly what happened, but this is my version, assisted by a lengthy conversation with his closest companion, Angel.

The Kudos Chart began in a small house, 13 Bent Street, a remote part of the Metaverse inhabited by slackers, star surfers, and philosophers. Various people claimed the credit for the idea, but my understanding is that it was probably Glitter Flame who got up the energy to implement the first chart.

1. Bent Street

Six avatars - three female, two male, and one an indeterminate feline - were lounging on comfortable couches in the front room of 13 Bent Street. In the centre of the room, a low glass table supported a giant hookah with arms like tentacles, arms long enough that you could lie full stretch on your back, look at the patterns in the ceiling and, from time to time, take a long suck of the pipe that connected you to the communal hookah. All six of the entities present were drawing down a slow-burning drug that filled the room with a bitter-sweet scent reminiscent of an intense dance party: a combination of perfume and sweat.

Of course the hookah was just for show, in this region of the Metaverse all avatars were free to access one of a thousand altered mind states as they pleased, but IWT-3 is best shared and a hookah is a popular way of doing this. The burning resin fills the top of the chamber with its fumes, which the imbiber draws in to their avatar with a happy burble after the smoke has passed over cooling water. The effect of IWT is to make you languorous, philosophical, and well-disposed towards your fellow entities. It has the negative effect, however, that one’s motivation to act upon the world suffers.

As a consequence of several years of IWT use, the gardens around this particular house were overgrown and full of the debris of abandoned games and projects. Half a dozen star-boards were rusting there, covered by a crop of dandelions, buttercups and bindweed. Almost hidden in the tall grass, the bright colours of a variety of semi-deflated plastic balls marked the end point of a number of long-forgotten sporting enterprises.

‘You know what?’ began Glitter.

Before she could continue, her question provoked a number of more or less simultaneous responses as the avatars sprawled across the ample cushions of their settees looked up from their musings.

‘Someone has set up a hive over beside the yellow lake, they are looking for ants. I was thinking we should go join it; to experience complete subordination to the will of the queen.’ (Clarion)

‘Plato was right. Numbers have a real existence.’ (Mellow)

‘The finest star surfer of this epoch is Dour Mac Dire.’ (Sol)

‘Existence is futile.’ (Lady Sorrow)

‘There has to be a satisfactory definition of love.’ (Eternal Voyager)

‘No,’ replied Glitter. ‘As it happens I disagree with each and every one of you. But that’s not the point. My question was rhetorical. It was a preamble to making a suggestion rather than an invitation to jump in with your thoughts.’

‘Ahh, in thasss case, suggesss away,’ a benevolent purring voice, that of Clarion, responded for them all.

‘My suggestion is this,’ Glitter continued determinedly, ‘we should tidy up the garden.’

A long pause followed. Was it that their attention had shifted to the jazz improvisation that skipped along gently in the background? Were they thinking upon each other’s interesting responses to Glitter’s opening remark? A bubbling sound came from the hookah as someone took a pipe full of IWT into their avatar.

‘Why should we do that?’ It was Mellow who voiced the question that had probably formed at the same time in five other minds.

‘For at least three reasons. Firstly, the gardens look better when they are tidy; secondly, there are items left out there that we have lost track of long ago and would be better properly indexed and stored in our respective inventories and third …’ she paused. ‘Third, it would be good kudos for those who tidy it.’

‘I have to acknowledge you have stimulated a slight hint of motivation in me to go out and tidy the gardens, deriving from your first two points.’ Mellow raised her head to look over at Glitter. ‘But the last needs further elaboration.’

‘True.’ Glitter flashed a dictionary definition on to the roof for them all to view without having to do anything more energetic than glance upwards:

ku·dos–noun (used with a singular verb) honour; acclaim; praise: She obtained kudos from everyone for her star-surfing skills.

‘Interesting.’ Eternal Voyager shifted on his couch, showing some alertness for the first time in a week. ‘I wonder can you quantify it?’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Well, like, did she get more kudos for her star-surfing skills than we would get for tidying the garden?’

‘I imagine so, unless it was a most extraordinary remaking of the garden.’ Mellow chipped in.

‘Like, if it had talking caterpillars, moving mazes, magic tunnels and spontaneous parties.’ It had been several years since he had worked on something truly creative, his Descent into Crimson Fires party, but EV was pleased to find that if anything his imagination was as fecund as ever.

‘Well, quite.’ Mellow looked over at him and smiled.

‘You know, EV, you’ve given me an idea.’ Glitter sounded thoughtful.

2. A Small Beginning

An indeterminate number of days later (they let a sun revolve around the sky in this part of the Metaverse but it was hard to keep track of time, as the neo-Goths of number 11 kept stopping it just after sunset), their wall had a new chart. On the left hand side were listed all the regular inhabitants of 13 Bent Street, with room for more to be added. A line divided their names off from the rest of the chart; beside each name was a number: 1.

‘Now,’ Glitter had made herself a little pointer, which was moving a red dot around on her chart. ‘Every day you get a kudos point. You cannot give it to yourself and if you do not give it to someone else, it disappears. But if you are given a kudos point, you get to keep it. Is that clear?’

‘Thusss if no one givesssaway their kudsoss poinss, we all hasss nosssing ass the end of the day?’ Clarion moved her furry feet down from the arm of the couch so he could have a better view of the wall.

‘Right.’

 ‘But if we all give them to Mellow say, she’ll have five kudos and we’ll have none. Is that it?’ Eternal liked games and was paying attention.

‘That’s it. But then Mellow could give all five to someone. Gradually over the days, the total kudos will rise.’ Glitter seemed to be pleased with their evident curiosity. ‘The point of this chart is that when someone gets a hundred kudos, they get a bonus gold star.’ The wall chart flashed and a cheerful brass band played a triumphant peal of success. Next to her name appeared a smiling gold star.

‘Cool, I want one,’ said Lady Sorrow.

‘Me too.’

Everyone nodded.

‘Great.’ Glitter switched off her pointer and reset the chart. ‘So now what you have to do is earn them.’

‘Hey Mellow.’ Eternal sat up.

‘Yeah?’

‘Trade you, my kudos point for yours.’

‘No, no. It’s not like that,’ interjected Glitter quickly. ‘It’s like, if you do some garden design, then everyone will think, fair play EV, you deserve some kudos points. If you do something really awesome, then you’ll probably get them all.’

‘Ahh, I see. In that case,’ Eternal lifted himself enough to bow gallantly towards Glitter, ‘I allocate my kudos point for today to you, for having set the chart up.’

‘Are you sure? Someone else might do something more deserving?’

‘True, but there’s always tomorrow.’

A considerable time passed, to a day on which Eternal was admiring their chart.

Glitter – two gold stars and fifty-four kudos.

Sol – a gold star and twenty-one kudos.

Mellow – a gold star and seventeen kudos.

Lady Sorrow – a gold star and twelve kudos.

Clarion – sixty-two kudos.

Eternal – forty kudos.

Underneath there were another dozen names of less regular visitors, whose kudos was between zero and twenty. Curiously, the girls were doing better than the boys and the indeterminate felines.

The house was clean and tidy. The gardens were mowed. Long-lost equipment was properly inventoried. A play had been half written. And they had been star-surfing twice in the last ten days, with Sol making a metacast of the second trip. This cast had proved to be rather popular viewing, to judge by the several thousands who had accessed it and given positive feedback messages in praise of their daring moves.

It could be deduced from the state of the chart that this transformation from lethargy to energy owed least to Eternal and he smiled to see that of all the regulars he was demonstrably the biggest slacker. Slowly, oh so slowly, his creative powers were scheming with regard to a plan to host a new party. But he knew it would be a mistake to push himself too far too quickly. No, let the ideas spin around each other, let them evolve after checking out the parties that some of his friends were organising. He wanted his next party to be so fabulous that a delighted Bent Street gang rushed home to shower him with their gold stars. There was no hurry though, in fact the longer he waited, the more the total kudos that would come his way.

Arms behind his head, Eternal drifted in to a reverie. The event should not be too demanding, not everyone wants to create new costumes for a party. Nor too gimmicky. Lots of nooks and crannies for flirting. Great music, of course. There was a lot to consider, but the idea that was uniting his conception was that of a giant ship, an enormous version of the legendary Titanic, sinking deep below the surface of a vast ocean. The eerie groaning of the hull as the pressure mounted would remind all the partygoers that their time was limited. Strange whale song could echo through the corridors. It had a lot of potential. Most avatars would teleport out before the very end, when the dark water surged in through broken port holes, to bring the party to a dramatic conclusion, but some, including EV would have backed themselves up so that they could stay and feel the weight of the ocean taking them into its cold embrace. Fun, fun.

‘Hey sweetheart.’ A momentary flash of golden light interrupted his daydream as Angel teleported into the room.

‘Angel. Long time. What brings you to this den of indolence and fantastic musings.’

‘You, of course.’

‘Thanks Angel.’

‘Plus, I wanted to see the original kudos chart.’

‘The original? There’s more?’

‘Oh hundreds more. They are very popular, springing up everywhere. You’ve created another fashion my dear.’

‘Ahh. Much as I’d like to take the credit, it was Glitter’s idea.’

‘Oh, Glitter.’ Angel came closer to the chart, shrinking her wings into her torso so as to avoid knocking in to hookah pipes or the games and magazines that were strewn around the room. ‘I see you have the lowest score.’ Her voice was amused.

‘Indeed. But that might change rather dramatically, after my next party.’

Angel smiled and raised one delicate eyebrow. ‘A new party?’

‘A new party.’ Eternal smiled back, but teased her by saying no more about it.

‘So, not even a gold star. Tut tut. I have five on the chart at the Blue Lagoon and eight at Grimwald Castle.’

‘Eight? How did you get eight gold stars already?’

With a light skip, Angel floated above Eternal, then tipped herself, so that her scarlet lips met his. They kissed for a long time.

‘Eight? Only eight?’ Eternal whispered, when, at last, they broke apart. Peals of affectionate celestial laughter filled the room.

‘Come, playmate, do you not think it is time to get out more? Let us take a journey through the new dark forest realms of vampyres; listen to the music of the Celestial Choir of Guilty Pleasure; attend the parties of the Metaverse Liberation Front or fight wars with the Generals of Sword and Bow. You grow stale and I miss you.’

‘Tempting, tempting. Perhaps in another year or so. But I have to correct you with regard to staleness. The Bent Street Gang are actually pushing star-surfing to new heights.’

‘True, I saw the last cast. I liked your sunglasses.’

‘Score! I put a lot of work into getting the right sheen off those, thank you Angel.’ Eternal looked across at his oldest friend and lover as a surge of warmth coursed through his chest. ‘And there are the discussions here too. I feel we have begun to get close to a solution to the fundamental questions of epistemology.’

‘And that interests you?’

‘Well, it entertains me.’

‘Then I shall pursue you no further. For a year and a day at least.’

‘By then Angel, my idea for a party should be ready. I will need a lot of assistance to get it right and I was hoping that you would be willing to involve yourself in it.’

‘Of course.’ With a surge of bright light, causing her avatar to shimmer in silver outline, Angel gave a wave and left, a pale afterglow of her form lingering in Eternal’s eyes. It was a nice touch and he considered getting up from the couch to chase after her and take up those tempting diversions.

A moment later, though, the hookah gave deep gurgle.

3. The Metaversal Kudos Chart

Obtaining truly deep philosophical insights is very difficult. Not only because the concepts themselves avoid being verbalised, like sinuous fish eluding a flailing net, but also because finding the right combination of people with whom you can explore the depths is even more elusive.

You speak. You come close to saying something important and it feels like the inside of your mind is being tickled. An image; a metaphor; a truth; something beautiful is close to being revealed. But like a sneeze that does not happen, you are deflated when the next person speaks. They have failed to understand you, or in understanding, have turned your thought into a tram line; one that inevitably leads on to a station that is well known and not to the new realms that you feel your statement had the potential to arrive at.

The Bent Street gang were used to each other and, for the most part, had grown used to each other’s ways of thinking. Certainly Eternal Voyager was delighted with Clarion, with whom he had formed a strong bond, one based on the simple fact that Clarion listened and thought before s/he spoke. By contrast, the least successful participant in their discussions was Glitter, who tended to speak without thinking. That is, she believed she was thinking, but the fact that her observations were entirely predictable and centred on themes to which she regularly returned, meant that she was probably not so much thinking as regurgitating. It was a common failing among all conscious entities and not just those with human ancestors. Not that anyone minded particularly, and in any case, Glitter was away a lot these days, giving presentations or recording casts about kudos.

It had been several years, but the group had recently reached accord that the Metaverse was materially rooted in a physical universe but that it was nevertheless unbounded. This contention had several important corollaries, not least that there should be no limit to the metaversal space any entity should be entitled to use. If someone wanted, for some reason, to play in a space as vast as an entire universe, they were perfectly welcome to do so, there was infinitely more space to go around.

Right now though, Eternal was thinking about the other half of their conclusion.

‘Does it mean that the Metaverse will end one day?’

They pondered on this for a while.

‘Stormrider II thinks it will,’ noted Sol and they all accessed a cast by the techie: Some Thoughts On Metaversal Non-Existence. It was easy, while under the influence of IWT-3, to absorb the ideas of the presentation and they were helped by the fact that Stormrider illustrated his talk with simple and persuasive diagrams. The Metaverse, he argued, would cease to exist under two conditions: if its material foundations became completely and utterly homogenous, in other words, frozen; or if, for whatever reason, the material itself disappeared.

‘Pertinent to our subject, most definitely,’ said Mellow at length, ‘but he is approaching the question from science, rather than philosophy. His argument is based on a study of slow waves.’

‘We are all going to die.’ Lady Sorrow shivered with delight. ‘Every single one of us. First the colour will drain from the Metaverse, then sound, then motion. All gone. All doomed. We will be running around as grey cubes wailing at the cruelty of our fate.’

‘Well, sort of wobbling from side to side you mean,’ Eternal pointed out helpfully.

‘Yeah. Trapped. And imagine the agony. You might be millennia as a cube before it all ends, and that might be a relief, when finally darkness comes.’

‘Especially if you were stuck next to Glitter,’ muttered Sol and there were several snickers as well as a sudden increase in the volume of merry gurgles from the hookah.

‘Eeeven if you acceept Ssssormrider’s argumen, whish I donnn’t, thass doesnnn’t mean the Messaverse will end. It jusss means thass thiss is hypothessically possible.’ It was Clarion who resumed the discussion and because his comment was both precise and logical, s/he also ended it.

‘My friends, contemplate for a moment, if you don’t mind my changing the subject, on the topic of what it must have been like, having a body made of matter.’ Mellow flashed a view of various humans and aliens on the roof. ‘The same one, all the time.’

Lady Sorrow brushed her fringe away from her eyes. ‘I once tried to keep the same body for a hundred years, in order to answer just that question.’

‘Really Sorrow? I think I remember that actually, you had green skin. What was it like?’ Eternal raised himself up on one elbow to look at his friend, whose avatar was currently a purple-toned vampyre.

‘Well, more of a turquoise, but yes. It was so dreadfully wearing, so dull. I felt chained. My only reward was the admiration of my friends for my persistence.’

Their contemplations on the limitations of organic beings were interrupted as Glitter teleported in, accompanied by a dramatic brass fanfare of her own making.

‘Watch this folks. This is amazing.’ She pointed to the chart, which had unexpectedly become immensely more sophisticated since they had last paid it any attention. For one thing, it had thousands of names on it, which Glitter was scrolling through, until she arrived at Sol.

‘Check out your kudos Sol.’

There was a number by his name. 264,039. Even as they watched, it jumped up by a hundred.

‘What are those?’ Sol had the blank look of someone rummaging around in his inventory. And a moment later he produced a pointer and waved it around delightedly before aiming its red dot over the icons that were attached to his kudos score.

‘Messages. Open some.’

* Sending you 20 kudos. Awesome cast, awesome moves. Can’t wait for the next.

* Great cast man, you guys really took it to the edge that time. Giving you all my kudos.

* Hey, I don’t want to intrude, but if you have room, next time you go star-surfing will you take me? 15 kudos.

There were hundreds more like these.

‘Wow, they really love our cast.’ Sol beamed happily.

‘Yes and now the beings of the Metaverse have a chance to show their appreciation properly. THIS,’ Glitter turned on her announcer's voice, ‘IS THE METAVERSAL KUDOS CHART!’

‘The what?’

‘We’ve linked up all the hundreds of kudos charts and combined them into one huge chart. It still works the same way; every day you get one kudos to spend, if you want. But now we’ve got over 200,000 people listed and there are more people joining all the time.’

‘Amazing!’ Lady Sorrow was excitedly scrolling through, presumably to find her own score and eventually she found it: 73,830. ‘Not bad, mostly from my role in the cast I guess?’

‘Probably.’ Glitter nodded.

‘So, like, do we get a gold star at a million kudos now, or something?’ Eternal could hear a note of scepticism in his own voice.

‘Wait until you get out there, you’ll be stunned by what’s happening. Forget about gold stars. People are really into kudos. They’ll do anything to get it, anything. And look, I’m in the top ten. I’m getting over a hundred kudos a minute, mostly from people thanking me for setting this all up.’

‘Who’s number one, by this new amalgamated scheme?’ asked Mellow curiously.

‘Tiger Fang. His new symphony is a big hit.’

Eternal checked his own score: 44,824.

‘Not bad EV,’ commented Glitter, noticing him. ‘That’s a top ten thousand score.’

Detecting a patronising tone in her voice, he frowned. It might be time to get the party going.

4. Beneath the Waves

‘Ladies and Gentlemen: please pay attention to the following safety announcement.’ Eternal was not the sort of person to pay attention to safety announcements let alone broadcast them, but Angel had insisted and, as she pointed out, it added to the sense of impending doom. ‘At a certain stage of the proceedings this ship will rupture, the bulkheads will collapse under the strain of the pressure of the ocean in which we are sinking and tonnes of cold seawater will flood through the chambers of the vessel in an explosive fashion. If you have not backed yourself up recently, you may wish to do so now as once this happens the ship will become a NO TELEPORT zone.’

To the haunting sound of seven long blasts of the ship’s whistle, the party began.

Everything about the setting was vast. The ship itself was over a mile long from bow to stern and contained five hundred decks. The seas through which the ship was now beginning to descend were thunderous writhing depths of salt water, complete with tides and enormous surging waves that were currently breaking on the starboard flank of the settling ship and sweeping on right across the broad deck. Eternal could take no credit for the seas; they were the work of a friend, Indigo Aeon, who had made a planet-sized tank of sea for some long-since-forgotten game, and who had been only too pleased to obtain kudos by putting it at the disposal of the party.

It was the ship itself that was the proud result of Eternal’s own work. Having looked up the subject and, with some satisfaction, learned naval terms such as ‘starboard’ and ‘bulkhead’, he had done his best to reproduce a human-age vessel, albeit on a grander scale more suited to a major party than anything their remote ancestors could have managed.

To bring the decks alive with the full range of activities that people enjoyed at a good party, Eternal had given them entirely over to friends or cultural organisations whose works he admired. Glancing at the program, for example, he looked forward to visiting deck 343: The Songs of Wolf Stargazer. 209 looked promising too: The Squealadrome. Metaverse Morality were holding an ethics meeting in a suite on 118, in the hope that a sense of impending doom would stimulate their thinking, while Mellow had organised a fashion show for day two on 384. At the centre of the ship, though, was an immense ballroom and this was pretty much all the work of himself and Angel, as was the choice of music, although he was grateful to the bands and DJs who had accepted the invitations to perform on the stage there.

For a while Angel and Eternal watched without comment as their command post towards the stern of the ship was engulfed by swirling green waves that pounded the windows, crashing right up over them. The ship was sinking, nose first, water having been allowed to flood into the forward compartments, the sealed decks of the party now formed a striated bubble.

As each wave receded, the amount of light reaching through to the interior of the bridge grew progressively less, the patch of brightness at the top of the window growing smaller and smaller, until at last there were no more waves. Now they were standing in a dark green gloom, one requiring a red emergency light to illuminate the interior of the bridge.

‘Off to a good start I think.’ Angel glanced over at EV. ‘Nervous?’

He thought about this. ‘I am, a little.’

‘Don’t be, enjoy yourself.’ She gave him a hug. ‘Everyone else will.’

A flow of information to the controls in front of them showed that the ship had about half a million guests, it was by far the biggest party he had organised. But in some ways that made things easier, there was no possible way he could take responsibility for the pleasure so many people were having. They would be making their own entertainment. It was the ambient background and, perhaps, the scene at the ballroom, which he could affect.

For now though, there was nothing to do.

‘Shall we have a look around?’

‘Lets.’ Angel linked her arm through his and they stepped on to a portal pad.

‘How about starting with a visit to see what Glitter has done with seventeen? She was so insistent upon keeping it under wraps until the party began that I’m very curious.’

‘Why not.’

They stepped off in a room that had been decorated in what, to Eternal’s taste, was a rather garish silver and gold. It was filled with colourful machines, besides which were stools. On a huge display at the far end of the hall was a giant kudos chart, displaying multiple levels of the constant activity that it now measured.

Pausing by a machine, Angel stared at it with curiosity.

‘What is this?’

A female fox was sitting nearby and turned her bright eyes towards them. ‘They are slots.’ When this failed to elicit anything other than blank looks, she pointed to the device. ‘Look!’ She barked, ‘enter five kudos here. Press this button and then the wheels spin randomly. Depending on what symbols are on this line when the wheels stop, you win or lose.’

‘Win or lose what?’ asked Eternal, confused.

‘Kudos.’

‘There are mechanisms to get kudos?’ Angel was equally puzzled, ‘how do they work?’

‘I assign some of my kudos to the machine, but if I win, the machine tops up my kudos score. It’s really simple.’ With a slightly impatient note in her voice, the fox returned to the game. Angel and EV exchanged a glance; she raised one eyebrow.

A human female avatar wearing red stockings and matching silk underwear was walking down the aisles formed between the rows of spinning machines. Each time she passed by a player, she handed them a card. The machines were busy so it took her a while before she reached Angel and EV.

‘Glitter’s Escorts.’ Angel took a card and while she examined it, the woman smiled a red-lipped smile. Quizzical, Angel looked up. ‘What’s this?’

‘Would you like an escort for the party? Someone to show you around? Someone to make sure you get the most fun you can from the erotic decks?’

‘Oh. Glitter is providing escorts is she? That’s kind of her, I suppose.’ Eternal had taken the card and was frowning. ‘Fifty kudos an hour? What does that mean?’

The woman’s smile had not wavered for a moment. ‘It means you credit your escort with fifty kudos for each hour he or she or it spends in your company.’

The three of them came to a stop for a moment, as though caught in a slow wave. Around them the room was bustling, all bright colours and chimes. Seeing that Angel and EV were not going to avail of her service, the woman broke the encounter, continuing on past them, down the aisle, handing out cards and smiling her fixed smile as she did so.

‘There is something slightly distasteful about this.’ Angel was looking down again at the card.

‘Yes. Let’s meet Glitter and talk to her.’

Eternal: Glitter?

Glitter: Hi there, if you would like a male escort please talk to Sol Starrider. If you would like a female escort please talk to Lady Sorrow. For all other avatars please talk to Clarion.

Eternal: Glitter. EV here. Please respond.

Glitter: Oh, hi EV, it’s you. I was getting so many calls I put up an autoresponse.

Eternal: Mind dropping by the bridge?

Glitter: Sure, one minute.

‘Meet you at the bridge.’ Eternal nodded to Angel and teleported himself up to the control room.

A moment later Angel materialised and drew up a chair.

Hawk: Eternal, you got a moment? The incoming message was from Hawk of the band Quickslice.

Eternal: Sure.

Hawk: The band were wondering. You are getting a lot of kudos for this party right? Any chance you could give us like, a thousand each? I know we’ll probably get some from the crowd but it seems fair, right?

Eternal: You want me to allocate some of my kudos to you?

Hawk: Right.

Eternal: A thousand each?

Hawk: Yeah, that would be handy.

Eternal: Here you are.

Eternal was still making the adjustments to the kudos chart when Glitter arrived.

‘Great party Eternal, you are soaring up the rankings. Have you seen? Top five hundred now and still climbing. You could be top ten by the end if it works out well.’

‘I see you are number one these days,’ observed Angel dryly.

‘Well. Yes.’ Glitter smiled modestly. ‘I’ve been one step ahead of the crowd all the way. I must say though, I wish I’d thought of this party. Your rate of accumulation is faster than anyone else right now. Mind you it will drop to zero when this is over, whereas I think I’ve got the mechanisms right to keep it coming my way for a while.’

‘Ah mechanisms. That’s what we wanted to talk to you about.’ Eternal came and stood beside Angel, then gave a nod towards the card on the table.

‘Yes?’ Glitter’s expression was wary.

‘This escort service, the slots. They are mechanisms to get kudos? How does it work?’

‘The slots offer a jackpot of a million kudos, which is very tempting and encourages avatars to play. But have set the machines to pay out so rarely, that for each million I give out, I get one million, two-hundred thousand in. With the escorts, it’s more simple. They give me ten percent of what they are given.’

‘And the escorts are offering erotic pleasure to people for kudos?’ Eternal found it hard to hide the dismay in his voice.

‘Why not? They want kudos; your party people want to enjoy themselves. Everyone is happy.’

This caused Angel to shake her head. ‘I’m not sure I would be happy if I was attempting to be intimate with someone who was keeping an eye on the time and had no real interest in me.’

‘Exactly Angel.’ EV nodded.

With a roll of her eyes and a sigh, Glitter took a chair and sat in front of them. ‘Look. People are getting smart about kudos. They don’t give it away like they did at first; you have to squeeze it out of them. In fact really, you should have asked everyone coming on the ship to give you at least ten, because I bet half of them won’t give you anything.’

‘Why should I care?’

‘Because soon you’ll need kudos for everything. You want to hear music? You’ll need to give kudos for it. You want to watch a great cast? Kudos. You want new limbs? Kudos. And if you make music, or casts, or body parts, you’ll be asking for kudos. That’s the way the Metaverse is going and if you don’t keep up, you’ll miss out.’

There was something so deeply unpalatable about this vision that Eternal felt constricted, like the deep black water all around them was pressing down on his avatar.

‘How strange,’ Angel’s voice was soft, almost musing, but it was a tone that Eternal recognised and he looked at her hopefully, ‘that people will no longer conduct their affairs directly, face to face, so to speak. Instead, all our dealings will be measured in kudos. A barrier between us all.’

‘Not a barrier. What kudos does is make manifest the previously hidden relationship between things. It was always there, you know, a sense of relative worth. Now everyone can see the measure openly. If I want a pair of Mellow’s eyes, for example, I can decide if they are worth an hour in the Squealadrome, a copy of Sol’s star-surfing cast, or whatever. It is the kudos chart that reveals the equivalence of such things.’

‘And my love for Eternal,’ Angel stood beside him and her fingers gently played with his tousled glowing hair, ‘how much kudos is that worth?’

‘You tell me.’

The two women glared at each other and matters might have become quite tense but for a welcome interruption from an old friend, Yellow Silk.

Yellow: EV, can you come to deck 84 please?

Eternal: Certainly.

He teleported down, using the tag that Yellow had offered him, rather than a pad. Out of politeness he sent tags to Angel and Glitter; they arrived a moment later.

A group of avatars of various forms were gathered at the entrance to Rapture’s Palace of Dreams.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘She wants five kudos from everyone who enters.’ Yellow had taken the form of a small sprite and her wings were buzzing with irritation.

In answer to Eternal’s glance, Rapture shrugged and folded her arms. ‘Well, why not. It is only five kudos.’

‘Not everyone here is on the kudos chart,’ pointed out Yellow tartly.

‘Well, get it from someone who is.’

Both of them turned to Eternal, who looked slowly about the group, then to Angel and Glitter.

‘I’ll be back in a moment.’

Porting to the bridge, Eternal leaned over a microphone and pressed the broadcast button.

‘Friends, sorry to interrupt your pleasures, but I need to make it totally clear that there is no need to hand over kudos for any of the amusements at this party. All kudos transactions here are entirely voluntary.’

On his return, Angel gave him a warm smile. Glitter, on the other hand, was shaking her head.

‘Bad move EV.’

‘Come on.’ Triumphant, Yellow Silk was flying towards the golden doors of the palace.

‘Just a moment.’ Rapture turned away and pointed. The entrance folded itself up and disappeared. Slowly, turning her head left and right, Rapture walked through her creation, detaching it from the ship and storing it away in her private inventory.

‘What are you doing?’ asked Eternal.

‘Packing up.’

They all watched, amazed, as the grey iron sheets of the ship’s decks were revealed progressively.

‘Hey EV.’ Glitter looked up from a hand-held monitor, giving him an appraising look. ‘I take it back, that was a neat move after all: you are charging up the ratings. People are giving you the kudos they have saved by the entertainment being free.’

‘So!’ Rapture turned about. ‘See, it’s not me being childish. I’m refusing to have my work exploited by you Eternal.’

‘No,’ answered Angel. ‘You are acting like a hundred-year-old. Take your toys and go home.’

‘Oh I will.’

‘This is terrible.’ Eternal squatted on a beam of iron that was bare but for the silver rivet heads he had carefully put on for authenticity. ‘This is the worst party ever.’

‘It’s not your fault. The kudos chart is spoiling everything.’ Angel sat beside him.

‘You’re heading for the top one hundred.’ An admiring whistle accompanied Glitter’s declaration. She was looking at her monitor, although she spared a moment to send a knowing glance in Eternal’s direction.

There was something in that look that made Eternal angry. At first he directed his gaze full upon Glitter, hoping that she would feel the impact of his scorn. A second later though, the fiery rush of his thoughts slowed. It was easy to imagine a future in which he got to enjoy the enormous gains in kudos he was accumulating from this party.

There was within him, he knew, a love of being a celebrity and a desire to win the adulation of the crowd. This was not a trait he was proud of and when praised for saving the Metaverse from Hammer or for his parties, EV allowed himself only a moment’s indulgence in the sense of a need fulfilled. Then modesty would take over.

Now, he was on the verge of being a major cultural figure in the Metaverse, one of the elite who featured on the kudos top one hundred. The chart had become the ultimate measure of society’s approval. It showed the winners and around these new celebrities was a cult of fascination and a desire to emulate them. Instead of being an outsider who disapproved of the kudos chart, Glitter was inviting him to the fast track. And what was really making Eternal angry, was that despite knowing there was something deeply unpleasant about recent developments, the invitation was an appealing one. A sense of guilt was the real fuel for EV’s anger: an awareness of his own attraction to a course of action that he knew was wrong.

He could not join the new elite. If kudos trading continued, their community would be riven into even deeper factions than existed during the flares versus drainpipes debates. And much as he harboured a need for the love of the crowd, it was more important to his happiness that he loved who he was.

A full day earlier than he had planned, Eternal ported up to the bridge and pressed a large red button.

‘WARNING. In thirty seconds, this ship will become a no teleport zone and be collapsed by the pressure of the sea around it. If you do not wish to die, please port out now.’

‘WARNING. In twenty five seconds, this ship will become a no teleport zone and be collapsed by the pressure of the sea around it.’

Having backed himself up before joining the ship, Eternal’s plan was to go down with his vessel. To live in that delicious moment as the distant roaring of the racing walls of water grew louder, knowing that it was an unutterably unique instant, one that would not survive in any form, such was an experience to be relished. It was the closest that a resident of the Metaverse could get to mortality and many of them would take the option to stay. But not him, not now. There had been too many important things said and Eternal did not want to lose the knowledge of them.

Several seconds before the countdown ended, he ported out, missing the triggered explosion that allowed the water to rush in, crushing those who remained into oblivion and a reawakening at their last backup point.

5. Free From Kudos

‘Remember we were like this before.’

A swing of silver was hung from the points of a crescent moon, allowing Eternal and Angel to sway gently under a star-filled sky. But it was not the fact that he was holding her in his arms that Eternal meant. Rather, he meant the sense of melancholy that filled them both and Angel understood him.

‘Yes, while we were waiting for the others to develop, the only beings in the Metaverse.’

‘At least this time I know what it means that I should sigh so often.’

‘It means you are sad.’

‘Sad again. I am amazed. How did it happen? Twice in seven hundred years.’ He shook his head incredulously.

‘I blame Glitter.’

‘I suppose so, but it can’t really be all her doing. Several million people are concerned with kudos. Is there something in our natures that draws us to it?’

‘Not in mine.’ Angel gave him a kiss on the forehead.

For a few moments EV rested, peaceful in Angel’s company, far above someone’s ochre-tinged world.

‘I suppose we should do something.’

‘What do you mean?’ Eternal looked up to meet Angel’s purple eyes. ‘Those are good, by the way, Mellow’s?’

‘They are. But I was saying we should do something.’

‘Yes?’

‘Destroy the kudos chart maybe?’

‘Really?’ Eternal was admiring. ‘You’d do that?’

‘Perhaps.’

‘Still,’ he became serious. ‘I don’t think that’s right, even if it was practical. You can’t force your views on everyone else. They’d resent it very much and I bet there are all sorts of back-ups and records from which they could quickly restore it.’

‘True.’

‘But you are right, we should do something.’ He paused. ‘Let’s form a society: Free From Kudos.’

‘Oh good idea.’

‘We can be a group of people who want to live the way we did before kudos.’

‘Great! That’s it. I bet loads of people will join us.’

A new sense of purpose filled Eternal with energy. ‘I’m going to call a meeting, will you help me make a hall for it?’

‘Of course. Where shall we make it?’

‘How about Bent Street, where it all began?’

‘Very appropriate.’ Leaving behind a shimmering outline of her form, Angel disappeared. A moment later Eternal took the tag that had been offered him and was inside a large grey cube. Beside him, Angel had taken off her wings and had changed her long silver hair; it was now all tied up in a scarf. Her shimmering opal dress had been swapped for denim overalls.

‘Your work clothes are so cute.’

‘Thank you EV. Shall we have some music while we work? Electric Vision has a new symphony, shall we try that?’

Eternal winced. ‘He’s a bit over the top for working. What about turning on Cast101 and seeing what they are playing?’

As Angel paused, accessing the cast options, she sighed.

‘What?’

‘Ten kudos a day.’

‘Curse them then. We’ll work in silence.’

‘First thing we have to do is recruit some musicians to our society,’ muttered Angel and they chuckled as they began to rescript the space.

Five days later, the room was perfect. It had a stage with a podium, but otherwise the whole décor was homely and warm. Long wooden planks formed the floors and walls, polished but with the grain still visible. Windows looked out on landscapes of rural idyll. After some discussion, they had arranged twenty chairs to face the stage, although there were more stacked up by the walls for if they needed them.

At the suggestion of Angel, a smiling yellow sun in an azure field formed the flag of the society and several banners with the design hung from poles attached at an angle to the walls.

Eternal lounged in a front row chair, fidgeting with the shape of his feet. He was never very good with feet.

‘Settle down.’ Angel was adjusting the height of the podium, pretending to be busy, although her nervousness was evident too. She stood up abruptly, breaking Eternal’s concentration on his shoes. ‘The Metaverse Liberation Front aren’t coming.’

‘Why not?’

‘They say kudos is irrelevant when the Metaverse is in danger from the General of Bow and the General of Sword.’

‘Can’t they see this isn’t a game?’ It irritated Eternal that the society members couldn’t put aside their involvement with the Epicfantasy sim for a moment and tackle a serious issue.

‘The Vampyre clans aren’t coming either.’

Eternal let out a groan. ‘What do they say?’

‘Soon all the kudos in the Metaverse will be theirs. Want to hear the cast of their wicked laughter?’

‘No thanks.’

Rather disconsolate, Eternal leant forward, head resting on his arms. ‘No one is coming. What did Stormrider say?’

‘No response. He’s not been taking private calls either.’

This was true, Eternal hadn’t heard from his techie friend in a decade.

‘Hi Mellow.’ Angel spoke brightly as a pretty wood-elf appeared by the stage.

‘Hi guys, thanks for organising this, it’s about time someone did something.’

‘Mellow! I could hug you.’

As always Mellow looked vibrant, bright as a button, and with the most delectable eyes in the Metaverse, currently radiating sparks like diamonds as she looked at him over a fashionable pair of amber spectacles.

‘Nice meeting room. Who else is coming?’

‘We asked all our friends and some of the societies we thought might be interested,’ replied Angel, joining them at the seats.

The three of them sat in the front row.

‘So, let us discuss your aims and goals. They are to return at least part of the Metaverse to a situation where kudos is irrelevant, correct?’

‘Right,’ answered Angel, with a worried look at Eternal, who had just let out a heavy sigh.

‘It’s going to be hard at first, because there won’t be so many of us.’ Aware that his tone might sound dispiriting, EV tried to perk up, ‘but when we have a big enough community, we won’t miss out on the good things of life.’

‘That point troubled me,’ Mellow spoke sombrely, ‘but nevertheless, I came to the conclusion that it would be worth the initial hardship. No entertainment, no casts, no parties, perhaps for a century. After all, you have to give kudos for nearly everything right now. It’ll be a bit like when you and Angel were all alone at the restart of the Metaverse, having to make everything for yourself.’

At that, both Angel and Eternal looked more cheerful and swapped a fond glance.

‘Actually, it’s a good bit better than that,’ Eternal observed, ‘because at least we can wear the best eyes in the Metaverse.’

‘Too kind.’ Mellow smiled. ‘But that reminds me, I’m not taking kudos for them any more right? So, what do I do if someone asks me for a pair?’

‘Well, it’s up to you. But what I was going to suggest at the meeting is that we all refuse to have any dealings with kudos and provide our skills for the society only. If someone wants your eyes, they can have them for free, but they have to join us.’ It was clear that Angel had been giving this issue proper consideration and Eternal nodded to back her up as she spoke.

‘Good idea. That’s how it’ll be from now on.’ Mellow glanced at a window. ‘Who’s that?’

‘Hey Lady Sorrow, what are you bobbing around out there for? Come in.’ Pleased that another of his friends had come Eternal stood up and waved at her.

‘Well.’ Lady Sorrow materialised in front of them, still levitating. ‘I really shouldn’t.’ She pulled a sheepish face. ‘Glitter is paying me a hundred kudos to see what’s going on here and report back to her.’

‘Oh.’

‘Tut.’

‘Good grief. Lady Sorrow. That’s really rude of you. Go home.’

‘But what about my kudos? Let me stay please.’

With another sigh Eternal slumped heavily back in to a chair. ‘Oh all right. It doesn’t matter anyway, we are done.’

‘Nice room.’ Lady Sorrow offered chirpily, but no one responded.

After a month they had seventeen members, mostly recruited by Mellow in return for a pair of her eyes. Still, that was enough for a game of strike and they had gathered at a pitch that one of their members had made on the waste ground between some tall buildings. These structures had recently been converted into exchange zones for kudos. Giant garish posters adorned their walls and shouted slogans such as: give yourself the smile you always wanted – lips from 30 kudos; flowers, the perfect gift, come inside and see my displays; growwwwl, cat and fox avatars for you. And so on. It was quite depressing. Inside the rooms of the buildings were largely empty, but should someone want to swap kudos for any of the scripted items on display, they could do so via the universal kudos exchange machines that were everywhere these days.

Turning off the clamour coming from the buildings around them, Eternal concentrated on the game. There was a tricky double shot option, tricky, but if it came off, he’d have Angel pretty much out of things. He was just giving it one more appraisal when Sol materialised.

‘Hail to the Free From Kudos Society. Mind if I join?’

‘Sol mate. Delighted to have you.’ Eternal dropped his mallet and gave his old star-riding friend a hug. ‘But I thought you were into the kudos thing.’

‘Yeah, it was good for a while, getting feedback on my casts, you know, felt sweet. But it’s a drag now. And have you heard the latest?’

‘No. We’re a bit out of the loop. What’s up?’

Everyone ceased playing and came closer.

‘Hey, awesome eyes dudes and dudettes. Yeah, well, the rules of kudos have changed. The top one thousand on the chart now get a hundred kudos a day and they don’t have to spend ‘em to keep ‘em. It was happening like that anyway, people had deals to swap with each other, so it kind of makes sense that they don’t bother making them disappear. But the extra kudos for those at the top of the chart, that sucks big monkey ass. With apologies to anyone who likes their simian avatars. It’s just wrong. And like, I’m in the top thousand myself, so I’m not saying this because I’m bitter or anything. It’s just wrong. And I got to thinking how much better things were before kudos, you know, no pressure, just do what you want to do. So I thought of you all. There.’

The pent up rush of words came to a stop.

‘Fabulous, we get to watch your casts again.’

‘Free to members only, right?’

‘Right.’

For a few seconds a blank look came over Sol’s face, while he made changes to his access system. ‘Done. Now, unless I’m mistaken, this looks like a game of strike. That is so old school, it’s awesome. Where do I sign up.’

‘Here Sol, you’re on my team.’ Angel gestured him over. ‘And it’s EV’s shot.’

6. Fashion

As a result of the anger people felt at the new rule changes to the Kudos chart there was a rush of people wanting to join the society, taking them to over a thousand members.

‘It’s good. But it’s still terribly tedious.’

Eternal, Mellow and Angel were sitting by a pond outside of Mellow’s trailer. From time to time a frog on a lily leaf gave a loud croak. The reason for Eternal’s rather negative appraisal of the situation was that his own efforts to compose music had resulted in his realisation that the art form was not going to be mastered without a great deal of dedication.

‘And it’s not really like when Angel and I repopulated the Metaverse,’ he continued, ‘because back then there was nothing else. Right now though, people are having fun. They are partying, viewing one of a thousand live casts and billions of recordings, playing games, wearing new fashions. It’s so slow. We are in the slow lane of the Metaverse.’

The frog croaked and Glitter materialised. The current fashion was for even human avatars to have a thin layer of fur and Glitter’s new body had a spectacular purple spiral of fur running around her from head to toe. Despite himself, Eternal felt envious.

‘Hi guys.’

‘Hey Glitter,’ replied Eternal automatically.

‘Isn’t your land teleport restricted?’ Angel lifted her sunglasses up and turned to Mellow.

‘No.’

‘Perhaps it should be.’

‘Mellow my dear.’ The timbre of Glitter’s voice was set to charming. ‘Would you mind if I looked at your eyes?’

‘Look away, but you can’t have a pair.’

‘So I understand, they are for your society members only.’

‘Correct.’

Angel: What’s she doing here?

Eternal: /Shrug

Eternal and Angels exchanged glances, but neither made a publicly audible communication. A tense silence settled heavily on everyone as Glitter strolled along the display of eyes that Mellow kept in her trailer. Even the frog sounded mournful.

‘Your work is as beautiful as ever Mellow.’ Eventually Glitter came out, holding a pair of classical green eyeballs. ‘Mind if I try them?’

‘Well, there’s hardly any point is there? I can’t see you giving up your number one spot for them.’

‘True. Unless you would take some kudos for them. Make an exception for me and say, a million kudos.’

‘A million?’

‘Think what you could do with that. You and your little community could get a lot of music, spare bodies and clothes with that. Prices are really falling.’

Angel: Was she always this manipulative? How come we never noticed before?

Eternal did not reply, but stored the private message away for later, all his attention was on Mellow and if he had owned an organic heart, he would have stopped it for a moment. It was a strange sensation, being so still, but at the same time with his emotions rushing in circles like a gyroscope, soon to fall down one side or the other, into a state of either despair or triumph. What would Mellow say in response to the offer of a million kudos? Would she abandon the Free From Kudos Society?

‘Glitter, you misjudge me. My position is not open to negotiation, don’t insult me by implying that it might be.’

Eternal: YES!

His avatar gave only a slight smile, but the shout to Angel let her know the true delight that was surging through him as a result of Mellow’s answer. Angel's eyes sparkled with an answering pleasure.

As though she had been expecting this response, Glitter gave a nod or two, looked around at the scene with a slight sneer and disappeared.

‘Mellow, you were awesome. I never think of the right thing to say in such situations.’ It was impossible to hide the relief in his voice. If they had lost Mellow, their oh-so-slowly-growing-community might have disintegrated.

Mellow rubbed her lip thoughtfully. ‘You know what that visit means, right?’

‘What?’ asked Angel for them both.

‘She’s worried about our society. Glitter is worried.’

For a while they pondered this statement and, as it seemed correct, a certain good humour sprang up among them, revealed by nothing more than their tossing pebbles at a can in the pond.

‘Great body though, huh?’ offered Eternal.

‘Absolutely,’ replied Mellow.

Willing: EV, got a moment?

Eternal: Sure, what’s up?

Willing: Take the tag.

The tag brought him to a rather derelict looking bike track. It was slightly sloppy work, whoever had designed it had been lazy about the sand and had simply pasted the same ten yards of landscape all the way around the meandering circuit, so that the same cactus reappeared again and again, along with the same patterns in the dust.

Two bikes, sleek looking racers, were standing on the tarmac and beside them was Willing Joke, in the form of a goblin in black leather armour, with a longsword scabbarded over his back.

‘Ride?’

‘Sure.’

A fabulously deep roar came from the bike as EV kick-started it. Now that was more like it, altogether classy scripting. It moved well too and as he picked up speed Eternal could see how easy it would be to fly right off at the corners, the bikes were powerful.

Willing: How’s the anti-kudos society going?

Eternal: Getting there, we’re probably nearing the critical mass when it won’t feel like a sacrifice any more.

Willing: What have you done with all the kudos you don’t use?

Eternal: What do you mean?

The two of them had begun racing in earnest. It helped to find the right line that decades of competitions had laid down a dark trail of rubber on the road's surface. The goblin, completely ducked down below his windshield, had the advantage though, and it was all Eternal could do to keep in his slipstream.

Willing: You have a lot of kudos still, you just aren’t using it. Say an average of fifty k each. How many members do you have?

Eternal: About a hundred thousand now.

While they took the tricky left and then sharp right before the finishing straight, Willing remained silent, presumably concentrating.

Willing: Sweet. That’s fifty billion. Enough to be number one by a long way. Even Glitter doesn’t have ten billion yet.

Eternal: I suppose. So?

Willing: Give it all to me.

Eternal: And then?

Willing: Then I’ll mess them up.

Grains of sand were a hazard at this speed; if Eternal put his head up over the windshield he risked wrecking his face. But he wasn’t going to ease up, not now he’d learned the route and could anticipate the turns, leaning right over. On the next straight he’d try to overtake.

As for the request, it was interesting. Anyone else and Eternal would dismiss the idea out of hand as being motivated by greed. But Willing Joke was infamous for being concerned with nothing but martial arts and war games. All those involved in big campaigns wanted him on their side as a general. He was, after all, the avatar who had defeated the Generals of Bow and Sword at the battle of Wizard’s Ford in the famous campaign of 643 BR.

Pulled by Willing’s slip stream, Eternal revved the bike’s accelerator to maximum and swung past. He was going to make it in time to brake hard and get the line for the corner.

‘Yeeeeee hawwww!’ Eternal roared with delight, loud enough to be heard over the roaring wind and thundering engines.

In the brief moment where the bikes were side by side, Willing turned his head to Eternal and showed his fangs in a wide monstrous grin. With an incredibly swift motion, the goblin drew his sword and sliced EV’s bike in half, just behind his seat. Hanging on to the handlebars, Eternal could see his legs melt as the bike scraped along the tarmac, surrounding him with blue and red sparks. Just a sliver of colour remained in his life bar, which had nearly emptied in those few seconds. Both parts of the bike shot straight off at the corner and left a dark trail across a hundred yards of sand, to where Eternal ended up with half a body, dazed and looking up at a blue sky.

A very pleasant silence was eventually ended by the sound of approaching footsteps. Willing stood over him laughing.

‘Idiot. You could have killed me and I haven’t backed up in a week.’

‘Yeah, that’s what makes it fun though, right.’

Eternal thought about this, then began to chuckle. ‘True.’

‘So, you gonna give me the kudos?’

‘Well, it’s not up to me alone, but I’ll give you mine and ask everyone to do the same.’

‘Excellent.’ Willing licked his thick green lips.

Two months later, Eternal got a call.

Willing: Hey, EV, take the tag, I’ve allocated enough kudos to you that you can attend a meeting of the top one thousand, congratulations, you are an optimate.

Eternal: Right-O. What shall I wear?

Willing: ?

The fact that he was still in the form of an inflatable buoyant dolphin from last night’s games seemed inappropriate for what was potentially a serious meeting and Eternal quickly shifted into his default human male appearance before taking the tag.

An enormous hall designed on classical lines was the arrival point for the tag. Immense amounts of work had gone in to the soaring columns, which were each subtly distinct in the marble patterns they were built from. Flowers hung in baskets and again, no two were the same, even down to the variety of scents that could be discerned. This was an impressive display of the command of the time of top scripters and designers.

Essentially, the building was a circular arena with curved seating looking down at a central pit, to where the person speaking would teleport. The ground was translucent and showed the ever-changing kudos chart.

Willing Joke had the floor, his human body a metallic copper, tall and well muscled.

‘Friends. I have a radical motion for you to consider. That from this day we abolish the kudos chart and go do something more interesting instead.’

Cries and jeers from the audience, whose avatar bodies and clothing design was a tribute to the skills of the Metaverse’s most fashionable creators.

‘Hear my case. The fact is you are all socially dead and washed up, you just haven’t realised it yet. The kudos chart is deceiving you due to the huge numbers of people it lists who no longer use kudos. Look at these graphs.’ Willing projected some simple diagrams in to the space above him. ‘The number of people engaging in kudos transactions is falling off rapidly. Despite your recent increase in the amount of kudos issued daily, the absolute figure for kudos exchanges is falling. If we predict the future, based on the current trend, then before the end of the century there will only be five thousand people using kudos, while the rest of the Metaverse ignores you.

‘Friends, I appeal to your sense of fashion. Do you want to be the unseemly creature who still has six arms today, a hundred years after the fashion for many limbs is ended? Anticipate the future. Scrap the kudos chart while you still have a measure of credibility and reputation for taste.’

There was considerable unease at this and even some applause. It warmed Eternal’s sense-of-being to hear it, not least because Willing’s point seemed irrefutable. The other aspect to the argument that appealed to Eternal was that it placed him and not these people at the forefront of fashion, even though his avatar was crude in comparison to theirs.

‘Optimates,’ Glitter herself, formerly number one of the kudos chart, took the floor. ‘Let us not forget that Willing is only here because he has the kudos of those who want to destroy our system. He is not presenting his views for any other reason than wilful disruption. Don’t believe he thinks of your reputation.

‘The predictions of Willing are flawed for a simple reason. They assume our passivity. But we, who control so much kudos, can find a mechanism to attract the rest of the Metaverse back to the system. And let us not forget that right now ninety percent of people still use kudos.

‘I propose we set a date for the greatest party ever. We use our kudos to solicit the best entertainment, the best designers, the grandest landscapes, the most wonderful new music. I propose the creation of,’ she paused, ‘the PLEASUREDOME!’

As the applause welled up, Eternal sat back in his seat, rather discouraged.

‘The entry fee will be a modest twenty kudos and everyone will want to be there. To pay for it all, I propose we each levy ten percent of every optimate’s current value to a Pleasuredome fund.’

Some cries of consternation led Glitter to raise her hand.

‘Don’t worry, it will all flow back to us, as we are the people who have proven our designs and services meet people’s wants. Do we agree?’

The room indicated its assent on a voting graph, with about eighty percent in favour.

‘Very well, I shall make the adjustments.’

‘Wait!’ Willing was concentrating on a handheld kudos transaction machine. ‘There, I have distributed my entire kudos stock equally to the bottom hundred thousand people on the chart, most of whom have ceased using it.’

Willing: Do the same, don’t let them have ten percent of your kudos for their party.

‘Then you are not entitled to be here.’

‘Farewell friends. Next time I see you, you will be in the giant skips marked “last year’s fashion.”’ Willing disappeared.

‘Next time we see you, you will be begging for twenty kudos in order to come to the Pleasuredome.’

Not a bad comeback thought Eternal, as he dumped his kudos and ported home.

Willing: Over to you now.

Eternal: What do you mean?

Willing: It’s what you are good at. Have an anti-party on the same day for your crowd, for free and you’ll accelerate the process of their disintegration, so long as yours is up to the mark.

Eternal: Oh neat idea, thanks Willing.

Willing: You’re welcome.

7. The Pleasuredome and the Waterfall

Two parties: one, the Pleasuredome, organised by Glitter; the other, the Waterfall Party, organised by Eternal Voyager. The entire population of the Metaverse took an interest in this epic rivalry, several wars were postponed and whether a fashion leader or a recluse, more or less the entire population of the Metaverse accessed the latest casts to keep abreast of the news. Even the monks of the White Peak Monastery were tempted to make the long walk down the mountain in order to attend one of the parties.

By all accounts the experience was much harder on Glitter, for she was dogged by constant demands for kudos from those she was working with. Could she have silverwork by Feather Testament? That would be five thousand kudos. Were Heimskringla willing to play for two hours? That would be ten thousands kudos. The scripters, artists, and designers were all very much aware of the battle and made the most of the demand for their services. A second extraordinary levy had been made of the optimates, but even this had not been enough. In a secret decision, promptly leaked to the Free From Kudos Society, the optimates had voted to create an extra million kudos, specifically for their party.

The consequences of this invention should probably have been predicted. Not only did it lead to an upsurge of membership of the Free From Kudos Society by those now disillusioned with the whole concept of kudos, but the artists and scripters working in the Pleasuredome immediately increased their demands. Throughout the vast hemispherical structure half-completed play areas stood empty while Glitter, full of furious energy, harangued, wheedled, pleaded and stormed. She was near to nervous exhaustion, although that was not visible to those who bartered their time and skill with her for a share of the million kudos.

By contrast, the workload on Eternal Voyager was relatively light, for he was working with volunteers who might not have been the most celebrated in the Metaverse, but they were fervent with a sense of purpose and a willingness to work hard. Fifty avatars were concentrating on the basic structure of the party: an enormous cliff.

‘The spirit of ascension is so much better for a party than a descent, don’t you think?’ Eternal was sharing a little fluffy cloud with Angel, who squeezed his hand with enthusiasm.

‘Definitely.’

In front of them a waterfall was flowing up from a blue pool, it poured upwards to the great dance platform, a mile above the ground, from where it burst into the heavens, like a shimmering ever-present display of fireworks. If you entered the pool and allowed the current to take you upstream, it brought you past hundreds of cave entrances, each allocated to members of the society to make into a source of entertainment. Some were just pleasant rooms, dedicated to a particular form of music, in which you could simply relax and absorb the sights and sounds. Others demanded more involvement from the party-goer, ranging from participation in discussion groups to a variety of sports and battles, plus of course, the full gamut of romantic scenarios.

Having resisted the temptation to step out of the flow of water, the ascending avatar reached the top of the massive cascade into the heavens at which point the party-goer was gently dropped onto the enormous ballroom where the main bands and DJs would be playing. The sun had been halted just as a pink glow appeared at the edge of the platform; on the opposite side a full moon hung in a violet sky.

‘Simple is best here, I think.’ Eternal stepped off the cloud and offered his hand to Angel.

‘I think so too.’

They walked together, hand in hand, across the silvered dance floor. From time to time they would stop to admire the scintillating rainbow colours that shone in the mist that surrounded the central column of water.

‘Did you work on that?’ asked Angel.

‘Not really, it’s all natural. Once you get the sun and the waterfall in the right position, it does that of its own accord.’

‘It’s beautiful.’

‘I was thinking of putting your couches here, for the view.’

‘Good idea.’

With a distant expression on her face, Angel began working, taking furniture from her Metaspace and adjusting it to fit on the platform.

‘Slightly less purple, I think,’ she muttered to herself.

After a while, she looked across at Eternal, whose expression was thoughtful.

‘Handling lots of calls?’

‘Not really. Sol and his mates are on top of everything.’

‘What is it then?’

‘I’m thinking about Glitter.’

‘Oh yes?’ Angel stood up straight.

‘It doesn’t matter how good her party is, she has lost.’

‘Really?’

‘I think so. Fashion trends are subtle and mysterious phenomena, but however they work, they have something to do with energy, creativity, and critique. Look what’s happening now. We haven’t got the best, most established, scripters. But the next generation is with us, entirely with us, and people can sense it. Our party is going to be the one to be seen at. Whether merited or not, we are fashionable.’

Angel nodded. ‘Yes, we’ve done it, got over the threshold.’

‘I feel sorry for Glitter.’

‘I don’t,’ replied Angel promptly.

‘It might cheer her up to think that whatever happens, she deserves credit for having stimulated two great parties.’

‘I doubt it will.’

‘Angel, you are so severe.’

‘And you, EV, are such a softy.’ She came over to him and ran her hands through his curly phosphorescent hair (recently redesigned by Vivid Calibration). ‘But that’s why I love you.’

There were literally hundreds of casts made about the battle of the parties. Very many of them were partisan and unfair, on both sides. Melting Song probably represented the balance of opinion in his cast. This was his conclusion:

Where could you hear the best music? The Pleasuredome. Where could you see the most wonderful clothing designs? The Pleasuredome. Where could you immerse your body in the most extraordinary sensations? The Pleasuredome. Which was the better party? The Waterfall.

A party is more than the setting; it is, above all, the people. Those at the Pleasuredome were unconsciously measuring each other and the value of their entertainment. It was hard for them to let go. Those at the Waterfall were having fun. For me, the abiding memory of the waterfall was not the dancing and organised festivities. It was the fact that hardly anyone used the teleports to go from top to bottom. Instead they flung themselves over the lip of the dance floor. They fell in their droves, like beautiful laughing lemmings. Flying, spinning, gliding, screaming, showing off. Up and down they went, having fun. Fun. Good times. Hedonism.

What the battle of the parties proves is that all this comes better without kudos.

And that conclusion, drawn by the inhabitants of the Metaverse (most of whom had a look at both parties), spelt the end of kudos. Of course you can still access the kudos chart, but there is hardly any activity on it. Glitter is there at the top of course, along with, perhaps, a hundred others who regularly make kudos transactions. But everyone else has more or less forgotten the whole thing. It is rather like an old human illness, which once filled the human body with fever, but having been mastered, survives in a harmless form. Just one or two scars remain and they in the form of unpleasant memories. Those who know him well, very rarely talk about the sinking ship party with Eternal Voyager.